Promotion means Deployment

In November Chris went through ALS (Airman leadership school) It is what all airman must go through to be able to put on their next rank which is staff sergeant. I suppose I shouldn't say all as Chris met someone that slipped between the cracks, but is now in ALS as an already staff sergeant. Basically, you go through this class and it teaches you how to supervise and teaches you what is expected of you as an NCO. The class was 8 weeks, I believe. He had a graduation for completing ALS in December. Here are a few photos from the night. I wish we would have gotten a picture together, bu somehow we didn't.

 In the photo below Chris is the 5th man.

Getting his certificate.

 So proud of him.

 And he is at the end in the photo below.

 Part of his squadron that attended.

The best photo.

And a car photo I took.

We had already knew he had a line number to put rank on, which is why he was attending ALS. When we found out he made staff and had the line number ( for those that don't know, when the military promotes, they only promote a certain amount of people each month throughout the year, and the line number tells you when you will put on) we figured he would put rank on in January. He put staff sergeant on, on January 1st. We knew it would be January because he got notice in October that he would deploying again in February. They told him, the reason he is deploying to this certain location is because they need a staff sergeant there. 

We have been through the deployment thing before, but it was 4 months last time, not six. I am trying to mentally prepare myself again. I know I can do it, I have done this before. I know we have been apart before and I was fine, I was able to take care of myself and keep my mind busy. I had a schedule. Once you are together again and use to being together again though, your mind forgets about what is was like to be alone. When you are so dependent upon a person, and know if you need anything at all they will be there, they will come home to you at night, it is almost as if your brain cannot imagine them not being there. 

I honestly have no recollection of what our house was without Chris for four months. I know he was gone though. I know I went to the gym everyday, I know I lost 30 lbs, I know I went from blonde to red, I know I switched jobs. It all just seems like one huge blur to me. I don't remember what it was like to completely sleep alone. Yes, with him working nights we will sleep separately quite a lot of times, but it's like, I will go to bed, then he comes to bed at 7 am when he gets home, so when i wake up, he is there next to me. I don't remember what it is like to wake up without him by my side.

The other day, I got excited because he told me he will actually be leaving the 26th or 28th, I was like "oh ok awesome." He looked at me with an odd look, and I didn't know why until I said "Great you'll be here for valentines day," and he said  "No I leave the 26th or 28th" and then I said "Yeah valentines day is the 14th" then the kicker "No of January" I had thought he was going to be home an extra month because they aren't moving him to the section of where you go when you deploy until very late. He will only be there 2-3 days, when last time he was there for three weeks. My heart instantly sank with sadness.

I cannot believe my husband leaves in about 10 days. It doesn't even feel real yet, because none of his things are packed, he isn't in that deployment readiness section, and well.... it just doesn't feel real. I know everyone goes through this, and I have done this before, but my heart still hurts just as bad as it did the first go around. I do not understand how others just get use to it, I think no matter how many times he goes, I will still be sad and hurt. I am an extremely emotional person though, I am a pisces after all.

I will just need to get back into a routine.... and find a job. I keep debating if I should go back to serving or get out of food all together. I do know I want to get back to my gym routine of at least every other day, lately I've only been going about once every three to four days. I might apply to the gym here on base, I think they are hiring, something close to home, and something to give me a reason to keep myself reminded of needing to work out.

Another challenge, I may go vegan again, or vegetarian. I am not sure. I also want to try not eating any processed foods at all when Chris is gone. When I say any, I mean any. Oh I want bread ok time to make it, pasta? time to make it. Breaded something or another? Make your own breading and bread comes. Juice? ok press your own apples and oranges. I really want to try this.

I weighed 148 when Chris first left over a year ago. I am 5'2, that was my beginning weight, I got down to 113. I have gone back up with the fact of not going to the gym as much as well as with the help of lots of eating out, not fast food but sit down places, still not the best for you though, and with the help of eating lots of sweets. So my weight has gone back up to 125-128. I want to get back down to 113-110. I think with cutting of that out again and with regular gym routine, it will be a breeze. I may try and start lifting too.

One thing I have been proud of myself though, is I haven't drank coke since I originally gave it up. No cokes at all since May 30th 2013, that was the day chris left the first time. We had gone to TGIF to eat and then went to see the xmen movie. That was the last time i drank one, and said it was the last one, and I haven't had any cravings for it! Maybe I can finally do that with cookies and cake! Awhhh I love them so much! and I love to bake! But maybe I can try vegan baking, still not good for you, but better than the real thing.

I am hoping to still blog when he goes, he is taking the laptop, as he should. It will really be his only source of entertainment.  I will have my kindle. Chris bought me a wireless keyboard for my kindle, and it works well, I just have to get use to it, but I will be blogging with that when he goes.